Gone.

First I'll apologies for not posting in a while.

Secondly and more importantly I'll explain what has prompted me to post. Today at approximately 1:30 pm I was casually playing on the piano, working out the chords to "Safe and Sound" by Taylor Swift for my group performance in music. My brother had just gotten home from rugby and was telling me about how he scored a try, my sister was listening to me play and giving my advice. Suddenly my parents walk in, my mum on the verge of tears, they tell us that "they need to talk to us". We sit down, us kids on one couch, my parents on another. They look at one another and my dad says "well it's mostly your decision Paige", my mum quickly takes a deep breath and says "Dad and I are going to separate."  I can't hear anything, my vision goes blurry, surely it's just some horrible dream. Mum keeps talking and I haven't a single clue as to what she said. My sister bursts into tears beside me, causing me to also. My parents continue to explain what's going to happen, how Mum is going to rent a house in town and is moving in on the 18th, how they know it's going to be difficult and confusing. They assure us that we had nothing to do with it and that they just no longer feel happy being together.

So that's it, after 26 years of marriage my parents are getting a divorce.

I can't really say it's unexpected but I'm terrified.

Stop.

I'm so tired right now. Everyone is getting on nerves for one reason or another. I blame exhaustion and stress. Everything is way too complicated, too difficult. Isolation seems like the only cure right now...

First Draft

So here is the first draft to a poem I wrote moments ago. Personally I believe it would be better suited as song lyrics, however I do not possess the talent or expertise to write a song.

Alone

As you fight to stay afloat
Trust you will not sink
For I sail this ocean also
So when the salt torments your wounds
Do not forget… never forget
You are not alone

Those walls you build
Will come crashing down
Push me away
I will take you in my arms
Caress your scars
Give you my heart
So that you know
You are not alone

You say this is your battle
But dear friend thus is life
All my courage will be called upon
Therefore your battle will be my war
Do not forget… never forget…
You are not alone

Those walls you build
Will come crashing down
Push me away
I will take you in my arms
Caress your scars
Give you my heart
So that you know
You are not alone

Hello, Hello, Hello

So here's a quick update on my life thus far:

• Storme, Sam and I competed in our first debate against St. Bedes, unfortunately we lost, but I did get best speaker.
• Jesse and I broke up, (mutual agreement.)
• I look like a complete fooligan in a blazer.

So yes I am now a 'single pringle' as my friend Emma would put it. I'm far from devestated, sure I was sad that it didn't work out, but not sad about the break up. If that makes sense... On the plus side I can now flirt with whoever I want whenever I want, something I'm going to make the most of.

So tomorrow is the UN conference, and the country I'm representing is Samoa. They are rather politically correct and boring, so that's a tad dull. So that is why I have the blazer, and it's far too long for me.

Well I have nothing else to write about, and I must say this blog is a little neglected but oh well. I shall say it is short and sweet instead :P

About Time.

I apologise for not posting for so long, to be honest I just couldn't be bothered. No idea why but anyway here I am. This is a little late to be saying this considering I rerealized (yes it's a word) this exactly a week ago but better late than never.

I have the most amazing friends in the world. I have the strongest friends in the world. And I've never felt as loved as I did in the early hours of Sunday morning. And I've never had as much fun as I did standing on that stage in front of 200 strangers doing the time warp without a care for how silly we must of looked. You guys give me the courage to face this intimidating world with open arms, with a smile on my face, and most importantly with hope. Hope that we shall conquer. Hope that however far we are forced to fall we will get up again. Hope that however high we climb we will still be there for each other.

Well that is it for now.

:)

Innocent epicness.

So innocent it is epic :)

Beautiful.

I've just had an amazingly uplifting revelation. Right now at this very second I feel beautiful, yes beautiful. That adjective us girls find so bloody hard to achieve and/or accept. Not because somebody has told me I am, I don't need anyone to. (Not saying I wouldn't mind though). To be honest I'm sun burnt, bruised, and bleeding due to a day spent at the wharf. Sitting on my bed with the laptop, not an ounce of make-up, just chillin' in my pj's. So traditionally wise why should I feel gorgeous? Because every part of my body aches, a tired ache that I know I have worked for. Because every aspect of my life is far from flawless, and yet at the same time it's perfect. Simply, because I feel real. And nobody can take that away from me.

The peculiar thing is I was insulted repeatedly today, sure the guy who did is a pathetic excuse for a human being, yet it usually hurts right? No, not today. Today I don't give a shit. Today I'm not going to bother being insecure. Today I am happy. And I'm going to accept that with open arms.

Lazy Ol' Me

God I haven't posted in so long. Although I was on holiday without an Internet connection so I believe that is a completely legit excuse. For once in my life I don't have a fucking clue what to write about but I shall start with saying Happy New Years to all my readers. I know just a couple of weeks late :p

To be honest I don't like New Years resolutions. It always seems like people's resolutions are about giving up something. Although admittedly I do have a few things I want to achieve this year. The first and the most fulfilling is to write 'more'. Unfortunately this is a tad vague so I shall put a number on it, say to write 100 pieces by my birthday. The second is to make the most delicious lasagna known to man (or in other words myself). The third is to complete grade 4 on the piano, I am currently working on grade 3 so this is rather a big ask but if I want to be I can be incredibly determined. The fourth is to try to learn how to keep my big mouth shut, it got me into trouble in so many situations last year. And finally the fifth is to be the girlfriend that Jesse deserves. He makes me so very happy and I want to do the same for him.

So here goes 2012, bring it on! I'm a girl who knows what she wants and I don't care what you throw at me. I shall do all I can to get it. I know I am strong enough to handle anything whether it be heart-break or earthquake. I have faith in myself and those who care about me.